The 2013 MDA Show of Strength Telethon is scheduled for this Sunday, September 1.  The MDA has been using telethons to raise money for muscle diseases since the 1950's!  The first Labor Day weekend Telethon was broadcast in 1966.  The fundraiser has raised nearly $2 billion in the last 46 years in order to advance research seeking treatments and cures for muscular dystrophy.

The show starts at 9pm EST.  For more information check out the MDA website.

The Baggage We Carry

Below is a sample from The Graceful Art of Falling, due out Fall 2013!

           I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. I was standing outside of our locked classroom door the first week of classes in the fall semester. He had his motorcycle “gear” on, and it reminded me of the attire race car drivers wear. He came over and started talking to me, and I thought, This guy is going to ask me out someday.

            I wish I could say that this was the love of my life, that we fell in love, got married, and are still happy to this day. That was not our story. What was significant about this relationship, though, was something it brought to my attention. I am a firm believer in “you always learn something from a relationship.” What I learned in this particular relationship (besides not to trust a guy when he tells you he’s divorced) is that many of us have some issue in our lives that we think of as baggage; it’s what will make us unattractive or appear damaged to the opposite sex. For some guys it might be having a child, a crazy ex-girlfriend, no career path, or significant credit card debt. For Jared, it was his “divorce.” We had this kind of conversation many times:

            “But do you think you can be with someone who has been divorced?”

            “Yes. I have a chronic, progressive disease that I am asking you to be okay with—I don’t have a problem with your divorce,” I would say.

            “But it’s not the same,” he would reply.

            No, it’s not the same. Because really the divorce, if it was actually a divorce and not a current marriage, is something that will eventually be over. Even with a three-year-old son, of whom he shared custody, his ex-wife would only be a limited part of our life. In fifteen years, when his kid is eighteen, one might never have to see her again except for huge milestones such as birthdays, graduations, or a wedding. I wish I could put an ending point on my disease. I wish I could say, in fifteen years I’ll be perfectly normal, still walking around, and everything will be fine. I cannot say this.

            He was adamant that his “burden” was much greater than mine, and even though he could deal with my situation, he never believed that I could deal with his. When I told him about my disease he researched it. I knew he would; he’s that type of person.

So when we sat down to talk about it, he said, “I’m not going to ask you the basic questions; I already did research on that. I know what the outcome will most likely be, and I know, even as you become weaker, your brain and your mind will remain intact—you will still be you.”

            I wish I could remember what he asked me. I’m sure it had something to do with the future or how I would see someone being involved in my future.

            After we broke up, I couldn’t stop thinking about this interesting state of affairs. I had spent sixteen years believing somewhere inside me, even if I didn’t outwardly admit it, that no man was ever going to be able to accept my condition and what that meant for my, and our, future. It’s not that I don’t accept it for myself. I do. I accept that I’m living with this; I accept that I will have to keep fighting a losing battle; I accept that it’s okay to be scared about my future. I accept that if and when I end up in a wheelchair I will be sad and feel as if I’ve lost my independence. But I still couldn’t accept that someone may choose to spend his life with me when this is my fate.

            I was honestly okay with the “divorce.” Obviously, it could complicate our relationship a bit, and it might make some situations more difficult, such as holidays or disagreements on parenting techniques. There would most likely be situations that would make me unhappy, but I could look past that to be with someone who was as amazing as I thought he was. It just wasn’t that big of a deal to me. I was actually a little excited that he had a son. I realize that many guys might want at least one biological child, and if I couldn’t give that to him, it would be okay because he already had his son.

            “I am stronger than you think I am,” I would tell him.

            Even though I disagreed about the severity of baggage a divorce was, I understood where he was coming from. It’s exactly how I feel; despite what people say, they won’t really be okay with it. I realized, from this not ideal relationship, that if I was honestly okay with something he thought was such a big deal, it could be possible that guys I’ve dated and the guys I will one day date will be okay with my circumstances just the same.

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