Possibilities

I think the Universe just loves to mess with me.  I had a doctor's appointment recently where we were talking about some things that might help to improve my strength.  We also talked about getting rid of the beliefs that are currently holding me and my body back from my "divine life."  Have I mentioned I love alternative medicine?

After this appointment I felt sort of... sad.  I was super hopeful and excited about the possibilities, but I was also sad because some part of me, this disease that I've had for almost 20 years, would be missing.  It would leave a huge gap, an empty space like you experience during a breakup.  
 

Wait, what?  Isn't this what I've always wanted- to not have a physical disability?

But I got nervous.  This has been my life for so long.  What would happen to the validity of my book?  Would people believe that I wrote it or that the experiences were really mine?  Would I still be able to have a career as a counselor for people with disabilities?  How could they relate to me if I was perfectly healthy?  

And then it started.  I kept falling.  Hard.  I had really terrible bruises, and I almost never fall in a way that leaves a lasting mark.  I could barely do yoga one week because my knees were so sore.  I could just hear the Universe in my head, "This? You're going to miss this? Get over it- you will adapt, just like you have been doing for the last 18 years to the life you currently live."   

I think the Universe is right.  I am capable of living my current life.  I can cope, find ways to do many of the things I want, and I can be happy.  But truly, I would rather not be limited by my physical abilities. 

I would rather be able to do everything.  I would love to actually believe that anything is possible.