Oh, Vermont.

You'll have to forgive me for not posting a blog entry last week... I was on vacation.  Well, sort of.  I went home to visit my family and friends in Vermont.  Vermont is quite lovely in the summer.  The landscape and style of houses still prove to be difficult, though.

I was frustrated the first night I was home with the obstacles in my parents' house.  Things all over the floor: rugs that slide, toys for my nephew, gates for the dogs, steps and stairs to get almost everywhere.  It's like an obstacle course.  The first emotion that hits me is sadness- sadness that I can't work around these things easily, sadness that I couldn't live here anymore.  But then I remember that this isn't my life anymore.  I don't live here.

I go home to see the people I love.  I just need to remember to mentally and physically prepare  myself when I go home.  Prepare myself to be even more vigilant about where I'm walking and how tired I am.   Prepare myself for the unavoidable falls and to do the best I can to make it through the week without falling all over everything.

My mind then drifted to my time living in Boston.  I have no idea how I got around like I did. It's a testament to how much my strength has declined in 5 years.  I wonder if I had stayed in Boston if my strength and coordination would still be like it was.  Maybe.  Or maybe it would have declined just the same and it would have gotten impossible for me to live there. Then what would I have done?  I would not have known that it would be easier for me in New Mexico.  After all, I had never been there before I moved.

I get a little depressed every time I go home.  I am reminded of all the things I cannot do. But, like I said, I go to Vermont to visit the people (and area) I love.  I only go home two weeks a year.  ...Eventually it might need to be two weeks in the summer instead of also going in the winter.  But surely, surely I can handle that.